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Most of the Things You Worry About NEVER Happen!

adult learning behavioral science corporate training motivation Oct 13, 2022

My previous post, The Problem with the F Word, explored the self-fulfilling fear cycle and self-limiting beliefs that trap you and keep you from moving there.

In the book Habits Die Hard, authors Anderson and Murphy reference a practice from Buddhist teacher, James Barasz, that you can use to dispel fear and limiting beliefs, even when you think you can’t. It’s called RAIN: Recognize, Accept, Investigate, Non-identify.

Recognize: Become aware of what is going on. (Here I am again wondering, “What were you thinking? I won’t be able to do this.”) What is going on?

Accept: Rather than thinking negative thoughts and shaming yourself, accept with graciousness to yourself that this is what is going on. (I’m afraid I’ll fail again. I’m afraid what my family will say. I’m afraid of losing my business.)

Investigate: What feelings are you experiencing? What body signals or physical responses? (shortness of breath, dry mouth, shaking hands, butterflies, etc.)

Non-identify: Tell yourself, these thoughts and feelings are not me. They are passing through. I am more than these thoughts and feelings. I can choose not to respond.

Since most of our fears and self-limiting beliefs are automatic, they kick in before we have a chance to even think about them, it’s time to challenge those fears and self-limiting beliefs.

Answer the 10 questions below as honestly as you can - don’t try to come up with the “right” answers, there are none. Write down whatever comes into your head when you read the questions.

  1. What am I meant to be doing with my life?
  2. Looking back at my life, I wish I had:
  3. Looking back at my life, I wish I hadn’t:
  4. How could I have done things better in the past?
  5. What can I change about my actions in the future?
  6. When I think of failure my fears include?
  7. When I think of success my fears include?
  8. If I couldn’t fail, I would:
  9. If I could add anything to my life right now, it would be:
  10. If I could remove anything from my life right now, it would be:

If you change your thinking, you change your actions. And if you change your actions, you change your life.

It's a new season... let it RAIN!

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